Feeling The Way You Want To Feel Deep Down Inside

Taking a break from researched-backed psychology to share something more spiritually woo-woo.

I want to share a process that’s transformed my life in a profound way.

Introducing Danielle LaPorte and The Desire Map:

Danielle started making resolutions and goals for the new year.

Looking down at what she wrote, she felt “blah.”

Then she took another approach.

She asked herself, “How do I want to feel.”

She started writing down words like love, creative, sexy, holy, etc.

Inspiration struck like lightning.

She realized we have goal setting turned inside out.

We tend to look at the external and say “I want that.”

Little do we know, it’s not the external attainment we want… it’s the feeling we think we’ll receive from the attainment once we get it.

Instead of asking yourself, “What do I want” or “What do I want to achieve”, ask yourself:

“How do I want to feel?”

This is goal setting flipped inside out.

Here’s the deal: If you’re not feeling the feelings you want when you’re going after the goals you’re working toward, life sucks.

Life shouldn’t suck.

Life is supposed to be enjoyable.

Going through the Desire Map isn’t simply asking yourself “How do I want to feel?”

You also ask a series of questions and reflect on the past. Negative and positive.

  • What didn’t work?
  • What are you ready to let go of?
  • Why do I want to feel this way?
  • How does my body react when I say this feeling out loud.

It’s highly intentional, interactive and intuitive.

How do you want to feel?

Once you’re in touch with your core desired feelings, then you can start to determine which goals and actions create those feelings.

Here’s an example of goal setting without going through the Desire Map process:

“I want a yellow Porsche.”

Ok. Cool. How are you going to feel when you’re driving the car or busting your butt to make the money to pay off the car?

Exhilarated? Wild? Elegant?

Can those feelings be felt in another scenario so you’re not busting your butt to get it?

Can you feel exhilarated renting a jetboat for a day with your friends?

Can you feel wild taking a high-speed train up the coast for the weekend?

Can you feel elegant treating yourself to a nice dinner on the town with a loved one?

Those goals are so much different than saying, I want a yellow Porsche.

Dig deeper and ask yourself, “Why do I want to feel the way I want to feel?”

Why do you want to feel exhilarated?

… because you want to feel alive?
… because you want to feel joy?
… because you want to feel united?

In this process, you dig deep into the core of your heart and soul of the feelings that make you come alive.

When you say the feelings out loud you’ll believe in your core, “This feels right. I’m home.”

I’ve gone through the Desire Map process three times since I was introduced to Danielle’s work. It’s been incredible.

I no longer pursue meaningless goals.

I live in my heart’s desire by saying “no” to the things that don’t feel my soul and “hell yes” to the things that do.

I’m about to get super gitty and excited with you because I’m almost done going through the process…


… I’m about to share my core desired feelings with you.

Hold your breath.

Actually, don’t. Breathe my friend! Breathe, and relax.

My core desire feelings for 2017 are:

These feelings may or may not resonate with you. That’s ok.

Your core desired feelings are not supposed to be the same as mine.

Your core desired feelings are supposed to be unique to you.

I can’t recommend the Desire Map more than the entirety of every cell in my body.

It’s seriously a transformative process.

Do you know your core desired feelings?

I’d love to know…