Listening to the voice that keeps you motivated

The voice that keeps you motivated

It’s been a while since I wrote a blog post.

There are many fears swimming around my head thinking “What if I don’t have anything worthwhile to say” and “What if my message is too short, my audience wants something meaty and juicy that they can bite into.”

These are my fears and I know you have a set of your own fears. Thank god my fears don’t include being attacked by a tiger or having a rat crawl into my bed. Both would be an ugly experience.

Now that we’re diving in… I’ll tell you what my biggest fear is.

My biggest fear is exposing myself. Being totally truthful and authentic. Both of those words are overly used, but I believe it takes courage and strength to live those words fully.

Over the last few months, I’ve been feeling weak and helpless… not what you’d expect to hear from a “self-proclaimed self-help guru.” The truth is that human beings suffer and I’ve been suffering. My mood has been down in the dumps and I feel bad because I want to help myself. The truth is I am helping myself. I’ve been seeking therapy, taking medication to control my bipolar symptoms, spending time with friends who I care deeply for, and sleeping…. a lot. Sleeping more so than I’d like to.

I’ve also been struggling with employment. Toward the end of 2016, many of my freelance project management gigs started to die down and I was left with a shortage of hours to earn the income I usually expected. That’s the risk I took when I decided to become a freelance entrepreneur in 2015.

There are many truths in my circumstance, and the other truth is that it’s HARD to be an entrepreneur, especially an entrepreneur who deals with mental health challenges. Most of my income goes toward keeping my boat afloat: rent, food, health insurance, medication, coffee, tea, and gas to keep my janky-butt car rolling along the streets of Portland.

I don’t share my truths to complain. I simply share my truths because I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone.

We all have a voice in our head which dictates our behavior. As I’ve connected with readers and viewers of my content from all over the world, many have told me that the voice is a bully. The bully shouts that “you’re not good enough” or “you’re not worthy of love, connection, happiness, joy, etc.”

The bully is a bitch in my opinion.

The bully keeps telling me that my entrepreneurial endeavors will never surmount to anything substantial. The bully keeps telling me I’ll be depressed forever. The bully keeps telling me that I won’t have anything worthwhile to write or share with the world.

Again, the bully is a bitch.

The other day I was teaching a yoga class at 24-hour fitness and it suddenly dawned on me, the bully doesn’t need to exist.

The bully doesn’t have to live in my head, and it doesn’t have to be in your head either.

The bully can be replaced by a cheerleader.

I question why only athletes have cheerleaders. I believe common, everyday, ordinary people like you and I need to have cheerleaders too.

A cheerleader is someone who lifts us up in the midst of challenge.

Your inner cheerleader recites positive affirmations that make you feel good. A cheerleader might shout something like:

  • “You can do this, Max!”
  • “You’re really good at cooking tofu and vegetables.”
  • “You’ve got what it takes to climb this mountain, I believe in you.”

The inner cheerleader voice isn’t natural as you’ll find when you begin to let him or her coach you.

What if you replaced your inner bully with a cheerleader? How would your day-to-day moments be different?

I wrote down ten positive affirmations in my journal this morning. I’ll be honest, I feel much better. I feel more alive, and more capable of taking on what I need to in order to find a job and tackle the days ahead of me.

I don’t know what you’re experiencing or going through at the moment, but I know life isn’t always a bowl of rainbows, butterflies, and Lucky Charms. Sometimes a creepy, dirty moth comes flying into that bowl and you have to decide what to do with it.

I encourage you to take the moth and put him in a place where he belongs. Maybe that’s outside in the fresh air, far away from you.

Phew. I’m thrilled I had this blog post in me. May this be the beginning of more posts and advice for all of us.

With love and gratitude,


PS – Here’s a quote I saw the other day, “The flowers that bloom the best are the ones the gardener waters and gives the most love to.”